I feel I have integrally known love. Physically felt its presence. When I close my eyes I can see him...in different ways. Sometimes I see him at a distance, a dark silhouette again the reddish lavender sky...and I can't figure out whether it's dawn or dusk. I observe him looking ahead, a lean thin fiigure discounting the toll that age took on the observer and her subject, likewise) looking ahead into the stretch of water. The sun making the background look like molten gold and giving me the pleasure of looking at the detailed contour of his physique. The wind that blows making me shiver and I see him again... Now through the panes of the glass hazed by rain...I observe him on the green grass clad in white and denim and I wonder, darting back to the present....why do our lives dwell in the memories created in the backdrop of the past...I wipe the pane and I see the top two buttons of his shirt unbuttoned. I can see the smoothness of the skin a bit too clearly. It's raining and the water drops from his hair..it trickles down the nape ...down the throat...further....down the chest...I wish to touch him...and then I can feel the cool rain drops on my self as I step out under the beautiful grey sky....I am near him...and I stretch out my hand to touch. And the moment my fingers touch him the silhouette becomes smoke, the water drenching my hand trickles betwern my fingers...I can't hold on to the falling drops as they escape my clenched fist. My eyes, my hand and my being all left stooping in the rain or shivering as the wind suddenly becomes too chilly. It's after all a vacuum....love!!
